Valentine’s Day season ain’t pleasin’

The red and pink hearts have already begun to magically appear as if the Valentine's Day Cupid scattered them himself. Speaking of Cupid, the cute little diaper-clad figure is all abuzz, flying around shooting his arrows of love and uniting couples in a sweet day of roses — cue the red and pink of course — chocolate and romantic bliss. Meanwhile, the scary and beautiful four-letter word is thrown around like a baseball in the midst of a triple play.

The wonderful season of love is upon us once more.

Yuck. You're excused for vomiting over the opening paragraph. You see, it's not necessarily because we're single or bitter, as so many people always suggest this time of year. It's simply that we don't fall for the scam of such a ridiculous "holiday." Valentine's Day—affectionately termed by some as "V-D Day"— exists strictly to sell fancily-packaged chocolates, pretty little Hallmark cards and ridiculous looking teddy bears that may just end up torn apart and angrily deposited in the trash.

Valentine's Day and the entire lead up to it create a blanket of lies. It may not be clear at the moment, but give it a month or so and we'll all see the error of our ways. By trying to celebrate love — an entity that should be celebrated every day instead of once every 365 days — our culture instead makes people think they're in love because the world insists they should be.

Even those in long-term relationships who have love bleeding out their pores aren't on board. From their perspective, it seems absurd. One day of the year devoted to telling someone you love him or her? Let's be real.

Couples who are actually in love and who take heed to the cliché, "It's a marathon, not a sprint," laugh at the idea there is a day designated for something that should exist on a daily basis.

For true couples, Valentine's Day is no more romantic or more special than any other day on the calendar. In fact, it's less special and less romantic. There's no spontaneity and no sense of true passion. If you're really in love, every day is Valentine's Day.

Actually, it's even better since there's truth behind the allegations of love. There's no games, no fakeness, no love lies — whether intentional or not.

Couples get swept up in the manifested glamour. They say, "I love you," because, hey, isn't that what you're supposed to do on Feb. 14? If you don't tell your significant other those three special words, what are you really doing? There's no Valentine's Day card signed "Like" followed by your signature and nothing else.

Even those who are rapidly descending out of love, or aren't in love at all, utter the words. When they wake up Feb. 15, they find the magic in the air has evaporated and the dysfunction returns.

All of this attention given to love and companionship creates for an even worse atmosphere for the single people in the world. It's quite obvious who's single and who's not on the fateful day. It doesn't matter if the person is miserably alone or ecstatically independent, it's an extremely awkward situation for singles and couples alike.  

For those out there who hate Valentine's Day because they're jealous, bitter, or were born with a heart of ice, think about this— How would couples like it if a day that celebrated being single existed?

Love may be great, but being alone can be just as good. You can do whatever you please, whenever you please, without worrying about someone else's feelings. Now that's something to celebrate.

Valentine's Day was fun when we were kids. As '90s kids, we grew up giving friends cards with Buzz Lightyear, the Pickles kids, and the friends of Hey Arnold and CatDog on them. We received pixie sticks, nerds and enough sugar to keep us wired from 8 a.m. until our eventual bedtime. It was a time emphasizing friendship and fun.

Fifteen years later, it's a time emphasizing bragging and lies. It doesn't matter if you're single, casually dating someone or madly in love, Valentine's Day is a joke of epic proportions. These days the only good to come out of it is the chocolate delicacies and candies on the clearance table at Wal-Mart the following day.

This year, make sure to rush out and pick some up Wednesday morning. That way you can sit back and observe the post-Valentine's Day chaos that's simply bound to happen. There are plenty of poor guys out there who will buy the wrong color roses for their girlfriend of two weeks, and all hell will break lose.

It's only the most important day of the year — obviously you should know the difference between a coral color rose and a peach one. What a catastrophe for those supposedly happy and madly-in-love couples.

V-Day Haiku

Girls demand a gift

Boys buy chocolate candy

Girls get fat, boys leave