100 days too little to count

I had every intention of writing about swine flu this week or H1N1. Or Miss Piggy's Revenge. Whatever you want to call it, I was confident it would be the subject of my article. Then, Wednesday rolled around and I realized the story was sucked out of ailment. Doctors on CNN told viewers every half-hour they should wash their hands often and see the doctor if they feel ill. And to think this entire time I would go months without using soap and lick my fingers at regular 15 minute intervals. Do these "experts" really believe we are stupid?There is also the story of Republican Arlen Spector, who is switching sides (not in the same way Lindsay Lohan did, mind you) to the Democrat Party in the 2010 election. This was a juicy tidbit to sink my teeth into - but he is doing it so he has a hope of being re-elected, even though he looks to be about 105 and should have retired during the Carter Administration.

Then, like a gift from the political heavens, Justice David Souter announces he will leave the Supreme Court later this year. I can almost hear the angels belting out "Hallelujah," as the keyboard dances beneath my fingertips.

Justice Souter was on the bench for 18 years, and is considered a moderate liberal, likely to be replaced by one. Granted, pundits aren't sure why Souter chose to leave the bench early after the inauguration. Hemorrhoids, perhaps?

It isn't as though the president is known for having much free time on his hands. I can picture him sitting behind the resolute desk, his feet propped up next to the pencil sharpener and the Yellow Pages, flipping through his cheap Office Max day calendar:

"Nope, Tuesday's booked - I have to solve the economy. Oh, Wednesday I have those torture prosecutions to decide on. Rahm and I are playing squash Friday. How about I pencil in Supreme Court Justice nominations on Thursday between 1 and 2 p.m.?"

Maybe there is a way to nominate a new Supreme Court Justice without the hassle of the president having to read résumés and think about his selections. I put forth the possibility of "America's Next Justice."

Obviously, it would be an unscripted reality show, where the nations top 12 judges are forced to live in a house with Brett Michaels and Flava Flav. Each week, the judges will complete a challenge of answering a hypothetical Supreme Court case asked by Gordon Ramsey, while Jeff Probst taunts them with tiki torches. Each week, another Justice-hopeful will be cut by Tyra Banks and Simon Cowell holding hands. The good news is everyone has a parting gift of a Snuggie.

It can be troublesome. The President's first 100 days recently hit its mark, and everyone is acting as though this is the deciding factor. I wonder if he feels like holding up his hands and saying:

"Great Nation, it has been 100 days. I appreciate your patience - but you are consigning me to letter grades when I have more than 1,000 days left. My resignation will be on all your desks tomorrow morning. Congratulations, you have Biden."

And then he would proceed to do Nelson's laugh from "The Simpsons" "Ha-ha."

Imagine if we were given 100 days to prove ourselves. What if after 100 days on this Earth, our parents would look at us and say "Yep, she's a garbage man" or "Guess who is obviously going to be a math genius?" It's not fair to take away our potential when we haven't even developed a voice yet.

So, when you flip through the news, hopefully over this summer, remember the swine flu won't kill you. Remember being honest is the best policy - no matter how dull it might be, and remember we all have potential and shouldn't be judged so quickly. Oh - and be thankful that Supreme Court Justices wear robes and not Spandex.